Somewhere I live

I’m confused today. Or maybe not. I decided to stay in my room today after a long. Somehow I can’t study anything when I’m in my room or at home unless I get a lot of pressure to do so. And almost every moment is taking me back in time today. Or to someplace I imagine. Or maybe abstract. Oh yeah, I’m reading about the basis for infinite dimensional vector spaces, but can’t focus really. While on the bed reading this, I see little Sylvia wearing a frock and going out to play on the streets. I blink, scene changes-her mother is telling her to wear frocks more often as she thinks that when Sylvia grows up, she wouldn’t be able to wear those, and frocks do suit her. I blink-  She’s spanning her whole house ( Excuse me for using the word  – ‘spanning’, but I really can’t stop staring at my ‘Basis’ notes.) and doing just what she wants to do. Now she’s talking to her father and asking him to memorize the names of her school teachers. She doesn’t study much, but she reads books. I see a bunch of Chandamama magazines and a well-made plan for the afternoon. I see her going to a nearby library along with her frock-wearing gang. I change my position and gaze at the ‘basis’ again. Words again take me somewhere, I see – ‘David Copperfield’. No, I don’t know what exactly I see, I don’t see him as a character, I don’t recall the cover, I don’t imagine seeing the book in the library, I just think about this name- David Copperfield.  Sylvia rejoined the library two times, after some gaps for unknown reasons, and read this same book every time she rejoined. What was so special about that book?! Sylvia has no answer. I get back to the ‘basis’. Try to find that Sylvia. Think about the digression. Imagine Sylvia sitting on a comfy chair in her room having a sip of coffee and thinking about all the good just like they show in movies. But nothing of that sort happens. I’m not what little Sylvia used to think I would be. The world doesn’t seem like adult Ruskin Bond’s world after I have grown up. I again see Sylvia in a frock (with a flower print)  in little Ruskin Bond’s world. Nothing makes sense. I realize that I still wear frocks at times, but it’s just that its name is changed, the look is different now. The look is changed. Now it’s a dress. Still no sense. I give up. I listen to Gham Ka Khazana by Jagjit Singh and sit at a table finally trying hard to focus.

-SylviaSolo

Is that it?!

This post is about a fairly recent view that I have developed about almost everything. A handful of some really worthy events keep happening in our institute. One recent event was about progressive Hindi writers in the last century and some demonstrations. I attended it along with my two friends. One knows Hindi well and tries to understand and appreciate poetry. The other is really new to arts and languages (except, let’s say English) and Hindi seems a far-fetched job. She just came along with us since her new year resolution was to appreciate arts. 😛 I guess for the first time I realized that I was not just listening to the tunes, the music, the voice texture, or the visuals, but, I tried to understand the meaning. I felt like growing up. The experience was different and yet enriching for both of my friends.

I remember listening to a Chitra Singh’s ghazal long back on my father’s suggestion and appreciating her voice quality and depth. It didn’t strike me until now that it was the meaning of it, above all. Cinema and books are not just about the plots/stories now, but also about the presentation, the capacity of those to take you into the setting they wish you in, about the genuine yet mostly imaginary characters, etc. I once tried asking a cinema lover friend of mine why he couldn’t watch and laugh at Bollywood’s typical comedy movies like Golmaal. I guess this keeps happening with all of us, we look at the same thing and its interpretation, and understanding evolves over time. Be it some person or a painting. We had a really engaging discussion over languages then. Also, about the meaning (or understanding/ interpretation ) of understanding anything. About the difference between knowledge and understanding.

We attended a debate about whether sci-hub is a boon or a bane to society. And after listening to the speakers I really felt, that science has given us a way to put forward our arguments in the most acceptable way. Using some basics of pure biology, you could comment on the very technical question that bothers many computer scientists now- Will AI take over in coming times?  One of my friends (who studies Biology) has to do a project on Animal behavior. One has to choose an animal and ask a particular behavioral question and then, over the semester, has to observe and answer it. Our discussion started from this point and soon we were discussing polygamy in animals and adultery (in humans). The biological theory is so elegant and complete in itself that you could comment on morality, and philosophy using the basics of biology. You could actually break morals into incentives over long periods or sometimes, even short periods. As a meme goes (and rightfully so!), Biology is all about Chemistry and Physics; and Math is the language that expresses it. In conclusion, whole science is one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened to humanity. Surprisingly enough (and also funny), Dr. Malcom from Jurassic Park says that there’s a possibility that science could fail and could be turned down by something entirely new, but yet, until it comes, we don’t know what it could be. I got to explain my second paragraph where I said that my view of almost everything has changed. So, yes, science is, for now, almost everything and arts add to it.

-Sylvialsolo